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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in shaecel's LiveJournal:

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:04 pm
Hello?
I am bored, restless, uninspired. I'm stuck and discouraged. My ambition is faltering but somewhere there is an inkling of grandness. I miss my old roommate ange. She was so engaging and luminous-nearly metaphysical. It was an impractical way of living that would sometimes frustrate the fuck out of me, but more often I would become completely hijacked by her light and illusions.
So the current issue berating my mind, besides the usual nose job fantasies and rob-regrets, is Justin. We "broke up" although he is getting way more sex out of me now that we're "just friends". Am I the only one whose drive becomes nearly non-existent as soon as words like commitment, boyfriend or relationship come into the picture? Seriously, will marriage ever be on my landscape or am I just immature? Whatever, all my life I've been trying to evade aging. Even as a kid, I remember refusing to wear a bra, deodorant or even properly dealing with my period in a desperate attempt to defy puberty.
For real. So questions have been pestering me in my current state of perpetual adolescence- particularly what next? Maybe I can take a lead from Ange and ask the universe for help. So there it is, universe? help?
Friday, March 11th, 2005
10:08 pm
Ick...I'm upset. My plans for tonight completely fell through, so now I'm stuck at home with only the internet for company. I actually completely forgot that I even started one of these, hence the mid february archive. Justin's coming over which I'm ambivalent about, I figure that if I'm not doing what I originally wanted too then I should at least paint or something. I'm in a rut lately, I have all these creative, inspiring ambitions but feel limited by time, money and lack of technique but I'm certainly not doing anything about it.

Current Mood: disappointed
Monday, February 21st, 2005
10:12 pm
So here it goes, I've finally succumbed to the allure of the livejournal, more for its use as a somewhat anonymous sound board if anything. I probably shouldn't be starting at this moment considering I have to wake up in less than six hours, but I'm fueled by after eight martinis, a condolence prize for arriving too late for the sold out poetry slam contest in commercial drive. Ah well, until next monday. It was nice seeing my lovely olivia anyhow.
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